"Be Present"

Here we are in 2011. Time has been passing rather quickly the past few months. With two under two it seems like there is always something to do and always something left undone. One of the biggest adjustments for me since Carson's birth has been to accept that there are some days that I simply can't do it all. I like to be 100% organized, caught up, and on top of things. I feel best when I am ahead of schedule, and at the very least on time. I find myself running late more than usual these days. As I feel the anxiety rise, I try my hardest to throw it out the window and tell myself that I am doing my absolute best, so the rest of the world can deal with it. That is REALLY hard for me.

That being said, I am excited to begin this new year and this new phase of my life with two children. I have thought long and hard about my new year's resolutions for this year, and I am excited with what I have come up with. Of course, I have the usual "eat healthy and exercise" resolution. However, that would be coming around this time anyway since I just had a baby. My threshold is pretty low for feeling out of shape, so I have kick started that resolution, begun running again, and am (hopefully) on my way to being back to normal in that department. My big resolution for this year, the one I am really going to work on, is to "be present". I spend so much time thinking about the next thing that needs to be done, so much energy planning for tomorrow, that I think I sometimes miss out on some of the small joys of the current day. I stress about making the shopping list for tomorrow's trip to the grocery store that I pass up an opportunity to just sit and hold Carson while he is awake. I worry about dinner not being prepared on time, and miss the chance to sit quietly and read books with Camryn for a little bit longer after her nap. I am going to really make an effort this year to enjoy each day for what it is, and to worry about the next one when it gets here. I will strive to be the best I can be and do as much as I can do in a single day, and be happy with that.